and i don't want the whole world to see me
'cos i don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who i am.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
my heart's at a low as i thought of the shits i had undergone. unbelievable to many, but so memorable to me.
my life has been one big drama, and even at times i wonder if it's real. then again, there are those evidence that tells me, "hey, this once did happen." and whether i like it or not, i know i'm gonna take them all to my grave.
it's been such a heart wrenching year, as i realise how naive i have been. there are really alot of things that i don't say, and beneath my clown self, can anyone see the scars that i try hard to ditch?
i guess nobody really cares, afterall, this is just jawk. some emotional, sensitive freak, who probably just wanna dramatise her life; someone we can use and dump after we find that there's really nothing much to gain from.
and perhaps the fault it really my own, afterall i always try so hard to be mr nice guy, to the extend of been labelled as a fake. ha. how amazing i lived 21years of pathetic life like this. (:
i guess enough is enough, and it's time i take one big step away from who i used to be, aways from things i once was stuck with.
it's time to face the truth, it is time to stop deceiving myself; and it's only because i'm so worn out, it's only because i don't wanna try no more.
don't go telling me, "this is life, live and let live." and whatnots. 'cos i'm really not interested no more.
deep inside of me, i already have answers to my questions. it's just that i've been pushing them to a corner, i've always thought that perhaps there's more that i don't know. yet each time i always face disappointment when the truth snaps me back to reality.
and that's that. you don't have to figure out that whole load of chunk i just typed, 'cos i just needed to let my frustrations out. and this is my space, if you don't like what you see here, get lost then. (:
and thank you guys who went thru much shits and stayed with me through everything.